Harnessing Saturn Energy: Setting Healthy Boundaries

May is National Mental Health Awareness month, so I wanted to spotlight a strategy to work with Saturn, especially with the depressive qualities it can sometimes bring. I found myself a bit moody last week during the full moon in Scorpio, so I sat back to try and figure out the source. At the time, I felt boxed in by my emotions and realized I was distancing myself from the people closest to me. Why was I creating this invisible boundary? I took a look at my chart and BOOM: The transiting moon was opposing my natal Saturn. Saturn brought challenges to my emotional expression (moon), contributing to feelings of loneliness and creating temporary distance in my relationships. I realized that nothing externally caused that initial feeling, not even a conflict in any of my immediate relationships. Mercury's retrograde (thank goodness that's over) may have brought up some past memories and feelings into the mix, but nothing immediately was causing me to be sad and moody. Full Moons are always times of releasing and while I needed to release those past feelings, I also needed to stop moping around my loved ones, scanning my brain for a cause to the feelings of melancholy (also ruled by Saturn). So how instead can we recognize moments like this, when we need to stop pushing our limits? By setting boundaries. I think everyone gets a little nervous when the term "boundary" is brought up. It kinda gives off that "We need to talk" vibe doesn't it? Quite ironic considering boundaries are necessary to ensure comfort for all parties involved -- So why might we avoid talking about them?

I remember being in high school and shortly after meeting my first boyfriend, he respectfully asked, "What are your boundaries?". I paused in confusion, this conversation was via text by the way (I was a strict and extremely shy homebody at the time). I had never been asked that question before, it had caught me by surprise.

He continued, "You know, like...your no no's, what you won't budge on and such". I nonchalantly responded the first thing that came to mind: "smoking and sex". I'd hated the odor of cigarettes having grown up around relatives that smoked Newport's. Not to mention my mom always fussed about the musty odor of marijuana in the hallways of our apartment building. In the same awareness, I was about the same age as my mom when she'd gotten pregnant with my sister. Any time she suspected I was up to something with a member of the opposite sex, she'd shout, "No oochie-oochie, no hanky panky Tenaya!".

Looking back on this memory with nearly a decade of more dating experiences, I think I'd call that encounter a red flag in self awareness. Why? I was so deep in my people pleasing habits at the time, that I was subconsciously regurgitating other people's expectations (and responses) to questions even uniquely about myself as an individual. For a while, I struggled having no true sense of self. If I couldn't sort through who I was, then how would I be able to recognize and protect myself from those who intended to trespass against me?

Long (and painful!) story short, it was not possible. That is until I uncovered what boundaries meant to me. Now there's two ways I went about this: the long way, which was starting the journey of self discovery and the short way, astrology of course! In astrology, Saturn rules over the concept of boundaries. It's the planet of tough lessons, limitations, hardships, delays. Saturn is known as a malefic, tending to get a bad reputation in popular astrology. You might see people on social media overreacting about and dreading Saturn returns. But the truth is, Big Papa Saturn rewards those who are patient enough to work with him. And what better way to practice working with Saturnian energy than learning to honor own own boundaries?

Miriam Webster's dictionary defines boundaries as "something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent". Funny enough, Saturn rules both boundaries and limits. The other image that comes to mind are lines. Where does the line that represents you end? Where does your partner/parent/peers begin? Is there available space for you to "breathe" and temporarily indulge in some quality 'me-time' reflections?Boundaries entail not just your roles, but also your expectations, responsibilities, values, and all the other practices that help you feel secure and respected throughout your relationships and interactions.

Boundaries make us question what we truly believe in. You have to consider what you are willing to face consequences for, how much energy you will give to your job or a project, and how much responsibility you carry on a daily basis in your relationships. So what should someone do in a situation like me where they find out they have a lack of or weak boundaries? You can start by considering why your boundaries have broken down in the first place. Are you afraid of rejection? Don't want to start any problems or ruin the moment? Do you feel like "going with the flow" is part of your role?

To get an idea of where in your life you may need to reassess your boundaries, take a look at Saturn in your chart. So for example in my third house, I could think back on how I have felt limited in my speech, violated or rejected by others through communication, and early life experiences where I may have felt like I could not speak or communicate my boundaries. For assistance in any fears or resistance you have towards establishing boundaries, you can also check the opposite zodiac sign or house that is opposite your Saturn. An impatient Taurus Saturn could look to develop their Scorpio traits so that they might transmute that frustration into assertiveness. While a seventh house Saturn who needs boundaries in their relationship could start looking to the first house of "Self" and reevaluate how they relate to boundaries on an individual level.

Don't be afraid of Saturn, it's not a jail sentence and it will never give you a challenge that's not absolutely necessary for your character development. Eventually, I would like to offer Saturn return readings to change the narrative and fear mongering around it. I have yet to reach my first Saturn return, but I believe that intentionally working with it beforehand will benefit me in the long run. I would love for you to share your experience with Saturn and how it has matured since your return down below or on X!

(I love the reminder above from one of my favorite content creators for a while now, now known as @kemimarie. Go check them out if you aren't familiar!)